This guy is “The Talker” because that’s all he does!!!!!
The correspondence started rather innocently. He messaged me to say he liked my profile and my smile. After a few email exchanges, he gave me his number, so I texted him because texting is so much easier than logging into the website from my telephone and I was out and about.
We talked a bit on text. He seemed like a harmless guy, and I figured talking to him wouldn’t harm me. I told him I was very busy studying but thanked him for contacting me. He texted me a few times throughout the week and I may have responded with a hello but I was never really interested. However, you hear stories like this all the time where people don’t make an immediate connection but later find out they’re very attracted to the person…
So it’s a Sunday. I’m half asleep, laying in bed, the tv on, watching “Meet the Press” and the phone rings. The caller ID says his name. Since he has the same name as a former date of mine, I pick up the phone. Before I say hello, I realize that the former date is in my phone under his first AND last name… and I realize who is really calling. I fall silent, struggling. Do I say hello? Do I hang up? The immediate panic that comes with the realization of a big mistake rose in my throat and silenced me. I heard, “Susan??? Hello??? Susan????” I hung up.
Immediately I felt guilty. I called him back. He didn’t deserve that. I made up some excuse and told him my phone was giving me issues. I know, I know…. Why bother? I don’t know…. He’s really a decent guy and I really go out of my way to avoid hurting people. We talked—oops, I mean, HE talked for about 30 minutes and finally asked me to meet him for lunch. Well, I hadn’t eaten yet, so why not? After all, I love Panera.
We went into Panera and immediately everyone knew we were on a first date because as soon as I ordered, he paid and I thanked him, and he said loud enough for EVERYONE to hear “I’m just SO glad to meet you!!”
We go to sit down and he’s complimenting me continuously. It’s nice to receive compliments, but this guy was overboard! “I love your smile.” “You have great legs.” “Let me see your eyes.” “What a great smile you have” “Great shoes! I love shoes too.”
I keep trying to change the subject, make small talk, ask him about his job and whatnot but this guy has a one-track mind, and right now, that track is me. I literally have turned this guy into a complete babbling idiot.
He starts repeating himself, telling me for yet the fourth time that his brother is coming to town with his kids this week and he is excited to see them. I am completely unable to get a word in edgewise.
“So tell me about yourself. I’m a good listener. I talk a lot but I’m also a good listener. How long have you been on POF?”
“Tuesday will be two weeks.”
“Really? Because I joined back in November. I really like it. I can go on there and talk to girls and some of them are really cute but none are as pretty as you. I can’t believe you answered my email. I don’t usually get pretty women like you to answer my emails. You have a great smile. But you know I saw your pictures and I thought well the worst that could happen is she doesn’t respond. So I just decided to message you.”
“Thanks”
“Yeah and I’ve been really working on this studying for my recertification for work and I’ve really been looking forward to taking you out. And I pulled into the parking lot and was waiting for you and as soon as I opened my book Whoa! There you were and I was like “cool!” and when you got out of the car I was like “Wow I really like that she’s my height.” Isn’t that the greatest when you see someone and you immediately like the way they look. Do I look the way I look in my pictures?”
“Yeah, I mean…”
“Because you are really a lot prettier than your pictures…”
This continued for about a half hour. We talked about tattoos. Oh My GAWD.
This man actually rolled up his sleeves and READ his tattoos to me. Like I was some kind of two year old who couldn’t read or make a correlation between a picture and a phrase. “This one is a compass, and it says “Life’s a Journey, Enjoy the ride.” And this one says “Live Laugh Learn.”Most people say “Live Laugh Love” but I like “Live Laugh Learn” because I think you need to do all three to finally reach love you know what I mean? I mean of course you have to live and laughter is the key to any relationship and you have to learn about the other person. I’m writing a book. The title is “Live Laugh Learn” isn’t that a great title? I think the cover of the book will be a picture of my tattoo…”
It kept going on and on.
When there was a break in the conversation (meaning he had to take a breath) I said “So, you’ve been on pof since November? How many dates have you been on?”
“Three”
“Oh you’re just a baby. I’ve been on many dates.”
“Yeah well I’m pretty picky about who I take out, you know? I mean, they haven’t been as pretty as you but you know there has to be a connection there before I will take them out. I really like to chat with them but I don’t always get to this point with them you know what I mean?”
And he continued rambling.
Finally, I couldn’t take anymore.
“Thank you for lunch. I really have to go. I have this paper due this week and I haven’t even started on it…”
“Oh no, it’s over already? What did I do wrong? Was I complimenting you too much? I don’t usually compliment people that much it’s just that you’re so pretty and Oh you probably don’t want to see me again do you? What did I do wrong? I always screw it up… You know how you asked me how many dates I’ve been on? I lied about that because if I told you I have been out on 27 dates you’d probably think I was desperate and girls don’t’ like when I tell tham that I’ve been on that many dates. I mean 27, that’s a lot, right? It’s kind of silly, really…”
I couldn’t believe he was asking me to analyze our date in the middle of our date.
After another 20 minutes of him talking my ear off, I gave him a hug, thanked him again and said goodbye. On the way home I was texting my friend. My friend said something. At the same time this guy messaged me and said “I had a great time and would love to take you out again.” I replied to my friend- but by mistake, I sent him the message. It simply said “Prove it.”
Less than 30 seconds later the phone rang. “Oh my god I love your sense of humor. “Prove it!” hahah. I never got a response like that from someone. You’re so funny and clever! That’s a great response! I’ll prove it! I’ll take you to dinner on Saturday, what do you say? I’ll take you to this little hole in the wall restaurant and we’ll have a great time”
I agreed. However, half way through the week I sent him this message:
I met a guy last night. No, he's not "the one," but he said something that left me thinking. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, he said that if honesty is important, so is full disclosure. I thought about what he said and he is right. Full disclosure is important. And saying "no" sucks but sometimes it has to be done.
I think you're a wonderful person... but if the chemistry is not there on a first date, it's not there. And with you, I don't think a second date will make it appear. I'll still go to dinner with you, but if you think it will be a waste of your time, I understand. I just don't see it going any further than that. There are many factors- but I won't get into them.
I hope you understand. I'm sorry if I let you down.
If it makes you feel any better, I told him that he wasn't the one either. I think it will be good for me to just say what I feel and stop waiting for feelings that may (but probably will not) develop.
His response:
Hi Susan,
Do not worry about it, I still had excellent time on the date with a good conversation. I think we had a few thinks in common like training at the gym and not having kids. And a high heel shoe fetish as well. But if you think there's nothing there what to say other than thank you for the opportunity and good luck in your search. But if you change your mind let me know because I still think you have a nice set of legs with those high heels. To bad I couldn't get a look at you selection. L.O.L. My question why do you feel like theres nothing there. Did I made you feel uneasy with the complaints or something. (Of course he meant “compliments”)
Me:
Oh no... It wasn't anything I can put my finger on... Its just chemistry... Something just wasn't there. I can't put my finger on it. But I do know I usually look for someone taller- like 6'4" or 6'5". But that wasn't it. I just don't know- its a feeling.
Then he kept asking me for another date. I ended up telling him “Thanks anyway.”
Ugh. Like a damned albatross!!!!!!!
